Its not often on a sunday morning that i am up and about this early, but today i had to work!
Maybe its the caffeine, but I am feeling great! Ready to take on the world! Im ready to conquer my fears, im ready to start dreaming again! Im ready to start writting.
A few years back I had a dream that to this day replays in my head, because it was such a disturbing and vivid dream. It goes like this-
I wake up in my bed, the air around me feels damp and hot, the atmosphere of a sauna… I look around, I am high up in the air. I can see through the rotting walls of the tree house, the decaying limbs of the enormous weeping willow. There is a tingling on my right cheek, I hesitate before putting my hand up to it and i feel the electic shock of fear. My hand touches raw flesh, my face feels like ground meat, I become frightened and jump out of the bed, I need to find a mirror. The tree house started off as one room, housing the bed i lay in snd myself, I could see all of it from where i sat in bed. Now on my feet it has become a huge maze, still made of rotting wood but impossibly ample. I wander the halls for a while before I notice the smell. It smells like a dead animal, it becomes over powering and I fall to my knees and vomit. I look up and to my right, out of my peripheral vision I can see a disformic black shadow. I avoid looking at it and try to wake myself from this dream. “It just a dream, im in bed, isela is next to me in bed, thats real life, this is a dream, im safe, im safe, im safe” I repeat this to myself and exert all my energy to try to move my pinky, if I could move in real life I know I can wake myself. As I concentrate on my left hand, my pinky, the darkness comes closer, instead of moving toward me it is closing the space between us. The darkness is next ro me, I can close my eyes in the dream but i know it is close enough to touch, i realize the smell is coming from the darkness. I open my eyes, I need to see it. I have become much bigger, too big for the room, I am crouching down and i know i am still growing. The darkness is small enough to hold in one hand, I pick it up and look down at it. At first it is a new born bird, naked, not s feather on its body. As I continue looking it looks like my sister, it starts bleeding and rapidly rotting. I cant stop looking at it, the smell is overpowering, the creature is overpowering, its small pink, fleshy body is riddled with spots of rot and they are spreading. I know the creature is isela, I panick, I need to help her. I try to whipe away the rot but as I touch the creature its skin burns and it begins to make a ghastly sound. The sound is nauseating, it reaches in my soul and break me. I start to cry and scream, i can feel on my own skin the pain the creature is feeling. The creature by this point is just a puddle of feathers and blood and bone. I look at it, we are the same size now, suddenly it turns back into the baby bird and I realize my nody is rotting, I am overcome with disgust….
I wake up, feeling short of breath…. my sister sleeping peacefully beside me, I cuddle up next to her and i am so thankful.