Hard days make for rotten moods.


Warning, this post is bound to be dramatic and full of nonsense. Tread lightly.

Let me tell you about the greatest girl. When she laughs you cant help but smile because her happy is infectious. On my gloomiest days she can make the sun shine for me, I know she has this effect on others as well.  She is stressed so easily, the world takes away so much of her joy but on those occasions when she truly is happy you don’t want to miss it.  I wish she would laugh more because when she is happy, no matter how sad I might have been, she changes my days for the better. If I was offered a deal, one that involved less of my life for more of her happiness I would take it without hesitation. She is smart too, she doesn’t seem to think so but the way she sees the world, so accurately and in such a true light, is proof that she is a brilliant girl. She feels things in a way that is hard to grasp for many people, emotions run so deep and so sharply for her that often they cut and scar her heart. She has such a big heart, she is so loving. It would be easy for her to be calloused with all the lies and betrayal she endured in her short nineteen years but she gets up when she falls brushes herself off. She is so funny, whether it be because some sort of mishap has befallen her or because she has learned a bad joke at work, she is hilarious! She is charming and charismatic, her clients are drawn to her and they y for her time! They pay her to listen and make them feel better because just being around her can turn a bad day into a great one. She is the best listener, I can ell that girl anything at all and I know she wont judge me or tell anyone my secrets. I can tell her my fears and she doesn’t think I’m crazy, I can tell her anything at all without worrying that she will do anything but understand me. She is just the right amount of crazy, I can count on her to  steal street signs with me, go on midnight ice cream runs, jump around at concerts, stay up all night laughing for no reason, go skinny dipping with me, streak, day drink, have inappropriate picnics, play blind, stay in bed with me all day, cry in my hair, hold me while I cry for no specific reason, and just about anything else I can think of! There is so much about her that is just perfect. She is a cricket and she is a bean, she is everything that is right with the world. She is everything that is right with me, every silly laugh and every weird poem that live ever loved live in her eyes. She is impressive and lovely and wonderful. All the love in the world lives in her rib cage, and it spills out in bursts of laughter, like rays of sunshine to light up my world.

I share all that with you so you can see how hard it is for me to leave, to live 1600 miles away from  her. She doesn’t know how hard it is going to be for me to not see her every day, to not cuddle up next to her with her hair wildly attacking my face, to chat while we do our makeup and fight for mirror space. It is going to kill me to not be able to show up at her job with lunch or be able to leave her surprises in her room whenever I feel like it. It is going to be so hard to sit on the beach wishing she could hear the waves and smell the salty air with me. I can act strong all I want, I know I’m not fooling anyone, its going to take every ounce of strength I have to get into that car today and drive off without her in the seat next to me. I married the love of my life on Saturday and we are leaving to start a new life together on the beach, I couldn’t be happier about that, but I will be leaving the other half of my soul in Colorado. Hopefully one day she will move to SC too, but I know it will be a while, and that while is what truly scares me. I know we will both make it, we will be ok. Its just extremely hard to leave the best little part of yourself.